i can't beat off unless you cry ([info]angryskul) wrote in [info]bad_sex,
2005-12-10 01:05:00
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Tranny Surprise.

I was at the Cat Club in San Francisco, I think it was Bondage-a-go-go that night, I was in latex, my first outfit. I think it was second or third time out in rubber. I was having an OK time, but not really getting any attention.

It was about one thirty in the am, half an hour until last call and getting zero play. I caved, I rushed the bar and downed three or four strong drinks really fast then went back out to the dance floor.

Then I saw it, about my height, lots of makeup, ruby lips, full tits and curly nice hair. It caught me looking and returned that look. So I approach and we slow dance to the music, I'm running my lips over hers, barely touching them, running my hands up and down her body and she's loving it. It was fucking hot. I'm really excited, my cock is pressed hard up against my pants zipper, so hard it fucking hurts.

Just then the lights come on, it's 2am.

We exit the club and head to the car. It's a small car, but that's OK. I'm really turned on this is hot, fucking really hot, hands everywhere, hot breath in my ear. I just want to bury my cock in something.

I reach under the skirt and feel her... wetness...

OH WHAT THE FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!

I really thought she was a tranny, seriously, height, body type, makeup, hair... she was a pretty girl, I'm not saying she was ugly by inferring that she looked like a transsexual, just that well, I had my hopes up. I have a thing for beautiful transsexuals.

It still turned out to be pretty hot, she had her cunt shaved, she was really into it, wet, moaning, being sexy, I stuck my gloved fingers and hands into her pussy and asshole.

Then came the other problem, like most girls, she was a fucking greedy pig-bottom, I kept doing stuff to her, making her crazy and she wasn't returning the favor, barely touching my cock, no oral, no anything. Fucking pain in the ass. On top of it all, I realize at a certain point that I've actually ripped the seat of my two hundred dollar latex pants.

Fucking shit... OK...

I keep finger fucking her, tounging her, pulling her hair and spanking her ass. My hard-on is nearly unbearable at this point.

During all of this, the windows are completely fogged, but at a certain point i distinctly heard someone milling about outside.

I'm not getting off so I wind up calling it a night and getting out of her car. I think I took her number down. Come to find out we both got parking tickets because the fucking SF system is setup to give tickets at 2am in the "club district".

Anyhow, so let's tally:
Not a tranny.
Ripped expensive latex.
Blue balls.
Fucking parking ticket.

Equals: bad sex.

Fuck.

I see her at the club a bunch, I slow dance with her sometimes but I'll never fuck her again. Not worth it.

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  • 76 comments

[info]robynz

December 10 2005, 08:41:48 UTC 6 years ago

Well at least you were *looking* for a tranny and didn't find one, rather than the reverse... which would probably also have made it up here.

[info]iam_spartacus

December 10 2005, 13:51:35 UTC 6 years ago

indeed, another horrible thing to think about is Post Op Transsexuals

[info]angryskul

December 10 2005, 17:01:44 UTC 6 years ago

That kinda scares me a little, might be interesting though.

[info]ex_kiota

December 10 2005, 17:17:50 UTC 6 years ago

O.o Why is that a horrible thing to think about? I'd be less freaked to find out that the girl I'm dating used to be a biomale, than to discover that the girl I'm dating still has a dick...

[info]super_elsbian

6 years ago

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[info]robynz

6 years ago

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[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]kreepyebmthingy

December 10 2005, 10:18:22 UTC 6 years ago

I'm more than experienced in the same "teh scene" that you are... So, please, don't take this the wrong way.

As much as you are "industrial" and take things for yourself, you're a selfish person. There's nothing wrong with taking things for yourself, but I've never *once* heard you offer anything other than your self-enamoured self to another person. You offer bad sex with your ego-centric self to the other person and are quite the prick when you aren't praised for the secks god that you praise yourself to be.

Okay, that was bad_car_fingering_non_tranny_secks, but, please, get off your high horse.

Remove me from the group, ban me, whatever you will; but this prick needs to pull his head out of his self-proclaimed godly ass.

Bad_sex isn't just a community where you bitch about how people are lesser than you, it's a community where you share the good *and* the bad.

Please, go to customers_suck if you want to be a man whore.

[info]angryskul

December 10 2005, 16:56:36 UTC 6 years ago

Lol, crackhead...

It was good and bad, read it without chemicals burning through your frontal lobes and you'll agree it's a story of irony, chance, excitement and disappointment.

[info]flashflashtea

December 11 2005, 06:41:47 UTC 6 years ago

uh... what? No, seriously, I thought it was a pretty decent bad sex story. Boy meets girl, thinks girl is a tranny, fucks girl, it was bad, gets a parking ticket, goes home with ripped pants.

And I didn't even think he was mean about it. I mean, he could have kicked her out of the car without doing anything to help her out.

You seem a little high strung about this :|

[info]angryskul

December 11 2005, 14:54:29 UTC 6 years ago

Thanks, unfortunately crackhead self righteous scenesters are like that are the norm though.

[info]spirit_fox75

December 12 2005, 05:02:03 UTC 6 years ago

"You seem quite the prick when you arent praised for the secks god that you praise yourself to be"

Now, maybe its just me, but he seems to be pissed more that he didnt get off, or get much of a sexually satisfying response in any way,than he seems pissed about being "recognized as a sex God"

Hes got an ego. Maybe its justified, maybe it isnt. But given that his story is the only point of reference you've got, well Id think maybe perhaps you shouldnt just go assuming things about other people because youd like to think theyre a dick.

[info]sunydays15

December 10 2005, 10:46:29 UTC 6 years ago

Most girls are "fucking greedy pig-bottoms"? I would never have guessed it from the number of stories I have heard (in here and in real life) about guys getting off and leaving their partners orgasm-less. Maybe you should have given her some suggestions or something if she wasn't touching you?

[info]angryskul

December 10 2005, 16:54:42 UTC 6 years ago

I kept trying to push her head down and once tried to put a condom on but she said something to the effect of "that isn't safe". Maybe she was trying to spare me a STD or something, so I guess maybe I should be greatful, but it's not that much of a stretch to spit on your hand and jack me off.

[info]sceimhiuil

6 years ago

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[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]sceimhiuil

6 years ago

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[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]sarenha

6 years ago

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[info]weev

6 years ago

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[info]vixenofflames

6 years ago

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[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]batman

6 years ago

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[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]vixenofflames

6 years ago

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[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]talkingsupermen

6 years ago

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...and 4 more comments... from [info]talkingsupermen, [info]oddpersonthing, [info]angelofstrange… Expand

[info]weev

6 years ago

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[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]angelofstrange

6 years ago

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[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]angelofstrange

6 years ago

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[info]weev

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[info]emziepie

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[info]angelofstrange

6 years ago

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[info]doerofnone

6 years ago

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[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]weev

6 years ago

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[info]tyrdinjer

December 10 2005, 11:02:58 UTC 6 years ago

On the bright side, you didn't get arrested for public indecency.

[info]emziepie

December 10 2005, 16:37:34 UTC 6 years ago

That's where I thought the story was headed.

[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]moonlitsilence

6 years ago

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[info]airneail

December 10 2005, 12:35:29 UTC 6 years ago

There's a reason why this person keeps having bad sex. Good sex require at least some interest/feeling for the other person. They are way too focused on their own needs.

They should just continue wanking.

[info]mercurywingspan

December 10 2005, 13:08:34 UTC 6 years ago

LOL. agreed.

[info]mercurywingspan

December 10 2005, 13:10:04 UTC 6 years ago

you know.. you keep posting bad_sex entries. ever think all this bad_sex is maybe your fault? probably not as i've read some of your other responses to people ... but ya know ... something to think about, dude.

[info]angryskul

December 10 2005, 19:49:41 UTC 6 years ago

I've had plenty of good sex too. REALLY GOOD SEX.

[info]myselftheliar

December 10 2005, 14:09:03 UTC 6 years ago

you make me so very happy that "not a tranny" is a negative

[info]angryskul

December 10 2005, 17:00:36 UTC 6 years ago

I think pretty transsexuals are amazing, the amount of time and energy they spend making themselves beautiful is really amazing.

Are you a transsexual? Add me.

[info]ex_kiota

6 years ago

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[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]weev

6 years ago

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[info]sceimhiuil

6 years ago

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[info]bernthewitch

6 years ago

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6 years ago

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[info]vixenofflames

6 years ago

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6 years ago

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6 years ago

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[info]myselftheliar

6 years ago

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[info]beandelphiki

6 years ago

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[info]angryskul

6 years ago

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[info]monkeythis

December 10 2005, 16:00:38 UTC 6 years ago

aaawww, i miss the cat club on thursday nights.

[info]angryskul

December 10 2005, 16:52:16 UTC 6 years ago

I miss the SF scene quite a bit.

[info]beandelphiki

December 11 2005, 05:24:49 UTC 6 years ago

Do you think you could avoid referring to people as "it?" I'm not a rabid language freak, and not much gets me riled, but people aren't "it"s. Furniture is. It just makes you sound like someone who is fetishizing transsexuals to the point where you don't even realize they're human beings. /pet peeve

Other than that, hilarious story. I'm not sure why people have decided you're a selfish lover for this entry when you were the one doing all the work. Maybe I've missed something.

[info]angryskul

December 11 2005, 14:46:05 UTC 6 years ago

I wasn't sure how to get across the feeling of ambiguity. I guess "she" would have worked.

[info]spirit_fox75

December 12 2005, 05:34:29 UTC 6 years ago

Blueballs I could handle, but the pants, MY GOD the pants...

[info]angryskul

December 12 2005, 12:55:27 UTC 6 years ago

200$!!! *sadface*
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