sexsmarathon ([info]sexsmarathon) wrote in [info]bad_sex,
2004-09-27 16:28:00
  • Mood: crushed
Hi my name is Chelsea Matthews and I have witnessed at first hand descustingly bad sex.

Unfourtunatly although this was only one day of my on going life, I will never forget it as long as I live. Now let me just fill you in, I am best friends with a girl named Sally and she was traveling last year in Maine, and came home with stories about hitting it up with a local boy. She said he was like 4 years older then her so he showed her some new tricks, and she enjoyed her summer more then her parents knew.

Well, my parents were jealous of Sallys great vacation spot, so my family went there last summer. Right when i showed up to our rented beach house I noticed that there were some definatly hot neighbors. After running into this boy named Josh a few times he finally asked if I would want to hang out with him sometime. I agreed and we met up later that night at my place. We talked about what we were doing over the summer and watched Fight Club. Then he asked to use the bathroom and I pointed to the door beside the far wall and turned off the tv.

I was lying on my bed, facing the ceiling when he came out, in his boxers. "I know we just met, but i feel an instant connection with you" he said, i laughed thinking it was a joke but to my surprise he walked over and pick up my hand a put it on his leg. I was checking to see if he was serious (and he was definatly attractive and I was horny from hanging out with my parents for so long) and he just smiled and kissed my lips.

He helped me strip my body of all my clothes and we pressed up against eachother on the bed. He was an alright kisser and I knew he had just eaten some of my toothpaste from my bathroom so that made things that much better. I expected that after some body fondling we would move into the fingering/ hand job routein and so to my surprise i felt the size of about two fingers in my kiki (vagina) and was happy with the rate we were going and ready to move on because to be honost I couldnt feel much.

Then i looked down and saw that we were actually having sex and it was just his small winker! and then TO be even more horrible when i told him i couldnt feel it, he flipped me over and tried to go in my back door!! I WAS SOO OFFENDED! and made him leave!

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  • 89 comments

[info]ex_assignmen357

September 27 2004, 18:19:33 UTC 7 years ago

Grammar and spelling ability are a must when one is posting in a public forum.

[info]marynanabananas

September 27 2004, 18:25:34 UTC 7 years ago

i think that my favorite part of the post was "descustingly"

[info]ambobuddha

September 27 2004, 21:54:16 UTC 7 years ago

My favorite part was -

...and I was horny from hanging out with my parents for so long

I'm sure that's not exactly what she meant (I hope).

[info]thedouchebag

7 years ago

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[info]sexsmarathon

September 27 2004, 18:28:42 UTC 7 years ago

I understand your taking a risk when you have to post something to bitch me out, and expose your horrifying picture.

[info]ex_assignmen357

September 27 2004, 18:30:57 UTC 7 years ago

I was making no attempt at bitching you out, and if all you can come up with in response to my comment is more of your terrible, terrible grammar, and an opinion on my user picture, well, that just proves your stupidity. Thanks for playing. Do try again.

[info]sexsmarathon

7 years ago

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[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]nattiecakes

7 years ago

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[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]deleahrium

7 years ago

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[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]deleahrium

7 years ago

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[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]nattiecakes

7 years ago

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[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]nattiecakes

7 years ago

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[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]virginhuntress

7 years ago

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[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]virginhuntress

7 years ago

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[info]deleahrium

7 years ago

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[info]virginhuntress

7 years ago

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[info]diztain

7 years ago

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[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]insafemode

7 years ago

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[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]sexsmarathon

7 years ago

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[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]insafemode

7 years ago

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[info]shady_tears_24

September 27 2004, 18:53:56 UTC 7 years ago

Im on yourside that bitches pic is wack

Is that bitch FOR REAL! hahaha omg She has no room to talk, Wow Ill talk in gibberish just to piss her off wow get a life there Ass-Ignment...Sounds like you need some dick!

[info]takinitslow83

7 years ago

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[info]nattiecakes

September 27 2004, 18:41:02 UTC 7 years ago

Uh, I don't know about everyone else, but I thought the post was easily readable without really noticing any of those things. Not to say the mistakes aren't there, but it's REALLY obvious what the post says. I can understand bitching at the people who "rite liek tihs nad nevar hav N E pun2ashon or spayses LOLZZs2rklsda" but this was fine.

Chill out. Geez.

[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]nattiecakes

7 years ago

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[info]ex_assignmen357

7 years ago

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[info]fistik

7 years ago

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[info]pinkluckie

7 years ago

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...and 19 more comments... from [info]shady_tears_24, [info]eidelonn, [info]purplemonkeez… Expand

[info]bitchness

September 27 2004, 19:00:24 UTC 7 years ago

Proper grammar and spelling are important in a written media.

That aside, that's the most boring bad sex story ever. I want my 3 minutes back.

[info]iamslainfwomp

September 27 2004, 19:03:36 UTC 7 years ago

Agreed!!!

[info]sexsmarathon

7 years ago

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[info]eidelonn

7 years ago

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[info]nattiecakes

7 years ago

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[info]scarybaldguy

7 years ago

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[info]eidelonn

7 years ago

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[info]iamslainfwomp

7 years ago

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[info]eidelonn

7 years ago

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[info]iamslainfwomp

7 years ago

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[info]eidelonn

7 years ago

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[info]onebreathaway

7 years ago

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[info]buggrit

7 years ago

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[info]iamslainfwomp

7 years ago

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[info]iamslainfwomp

7 years ago

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[info]jennjuice536

7 years ago

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[info]deleahrium

September 27 2004, 19:11:38 UTC 7 years ago

it took you three minutes to read that!??! O_o

;-P

[info]bitchness

7 years ago

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[info]x_rayedemotion

September 27 2004, 20:06:59 UTC 7 years ago

oh. my. god

that is the funniest spelling of the word disgusting, EVER.
i didnt read past it but did enjoy those thirty seconds of laughter so thank you

[info]roselady

September 27 2004, 22:37:44 UTC 7 years ago

Well... since no one is going to actually post about what was written...

I thought it was interesting, though a little forward of him, and I would have made him leave too, that pig.

[info]demonmonkey

September 27 2004, 22:41:56 UTC 7 years ago

W0rd.

'Aight. I'm going to stray away from all the grammar bashing with this comment.

How the hell does a guy in only his boxers just walk up to a chick he hardly knows, puts her hand on his leg, and basically states, "I like you. Lets gyrate." and then sex occurs? I mean...I understand that that was a huge risk on his part, but situations like that just do not happen. (Well, at least not to me.) I'm not saying this didnt happen, I'm just trying to put my brain around it. I would think most chicks reactions would be screaming and/or macing, since a lot of the time such a forward come-on by a guy is considered sexual harrasment.

..Hmm..Maybe I should try my luck at the boxer-touch-nonchalant-suaveness sometime. Any other guy's have it work? Or any chicks think it was super-hot or just dumb?

[info]buggrit

September 28 2004, 03:22:35 UTC 7 years ago

Re: W0rd.

I have a buddy who will just walk up to a chick in a bar and say, "So are we gonna fuck, or what?" It works surprisingly often.

[info]purplemonkeez

7 years ago

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[info]man_of_thought

September 27 2004, 23:46:55 UTC 7 years ago

It is thoroughly disgusting how quickly some of the people who entertain this forum seize upon someone who does not use the english language with desired proficiency. Here is a hint... if you can't understand an entry, move one. It is a good thing, in some ways, that I am not the moderator of this community. I suggest a recalibration of viewing lenses. The focus of this place is NOT spelling, grammar, mechanics, style, or any other rhetorical devices. If this is not understood, I doubt the persons who post in form similar to this have the more serious problem. There are communities that emphasize the critique of writing...

Jones

[info]buggrit

September 28 2004, 03:23:35 UTC 7 years ago

I think I love you.

[info]man_of_thought

7 years ago

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[info]purplemonkeez

September 28 2004, 07:27:24 UTC 7 years ago

*applauds*
my thoughts exactly.
i was appauled by how rude people up there were being...

[info]takinitslow83

7 years ago

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[info]fiftybelowzero

September 28 2004, 13:53:12 UTC 7 years ago

Yes, bravo. People need to chill the f*ck out. It's just some bad spelling. It isn't the end of the world. -_-

[info]eib

September 28 2004, 00:15:00 UTC 7 years ago

I love how so many stories have some element of uninvited anal advances. That's never happened to me, but I imagine it to be terrible.

[info]buggrit

September 28 2004, 03:24:34 UTC 7 years ago

May I suggest that, in the future, it is relatively unwise to post your full name anywhere on the intarweb?

[info]sidepocket_pro

September 28 2004, 22:01:48 UTC 7 years ago

Wow...that is seriously fucked up.

Proving agen two things:

1) The good/brash looking guys who have no skills somehow get laid alot. (This boggles the male mind to no-ends)

2) We as part of bad_sex should realy stay on topic more often. :-p

[info]robynz

October 3 2004, 05:16:20 UTC 7 years ago

I wish everyone would shut the fuck up about spelling and grammer.

I think the post looked just fine, it wasn't typed 'liek shi is dumm adn returdd' and it was perfectly well written and easy to read.

Fucking grow up you people! Half of you don't seem mature enough to even be having sex, letalone reading about it, most of the time.
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